The Dream

So I woke from a very real dream, I must have been around seven. You will understand why that is significant soon. So you understand a little about my brain due to my not being able to read when I was younger I taught myself how to memorize thing so I could get by. I have five dreams that are so indelibly imprinted on my mind that they can be consistently recalled with the details of an engraver plate. This was one of those dreams, but it is the only one that is pleasant, peaceful, and beautiful.  It is the only one I choose to ever recall. It was spring. I was still in school because I remember being very distracted wondering if the woman in my dreams was outside in the beautiful sunshine, the blooming flowers and green grass. When I finally arrived home as was custom, my mother was there occupied in one of the many things she was required to do, however as always was the case she stopped what she was doing to wrap me in her arms, kiss the top of my head, and ask how my day had been. When my answer was just as distracted, she knew something was up, especially after she had offered me food and I said  not right now...with as large a family as we had in as small a house as we lived there was no privacy anywhere. There was a chair in the corner of the living room (mom would pay me to sit there, I don’t think I ever earned the money) I could sit half on the arm without feeling like I was hurting mom, she had this way of talking with me that let me feel safe talking about anything and that continued until the day she died, I told her of my dream: I was in a beautiful field of waste high grass that is soft with just the slight moisture that has been warmed by the sun, for once I am clean from head to toe my clothes are beautiful and pressed, I had no shoes on but the ground is comfortable and enjoyable to walk on, the air is alive with noise: I hear insects, birds, dogs and many other animals I know, I am completely safe in fact I feel at home though I never seen this place. My attention is focused on a large tree a short distance away. I can't tell its type but I know I want to climb it to the very top. As I get closer I can hear the stream unmistakable in its rhythm, percussion and tempo. I am now standing at the stream the tree on the other side and to my surprise this beautiful young woman in a flowing white dress with small yellow daisy embroider around the hem, bouts and sleeves. She was maybe 21 or 22 had long dishwater blonde hair a slightly crooked but brilliant smile and intense sparkling eyes...Her eye reminded me of mom's, kind and caring, I trusted her immediately. She held out her hands and walked to the middle of the stream she also had no shoes which I thought was real neat, I joined her in the middle of the creek and we laughed at the coolness of the water her hands were warm and gentle but held tightly to mine, she bent down the bottom of her dress was now wet but she didn’t seem to mind, she wrapped her arms around me and picked me up and carried me to the tree. We sat for a long time saying nothing; me just nuzzled under her arm while she stroked my hair and hummed a soft tune (I later found out was edelweiss ) the last thing I remember is falling asleep in her arms with her saying " it's ok go to sleep little brother"  My mother was crying. I didn’t know what I had said or what I had done wrong. I was worried, nor did I understand why the woman in my dream would say that. My mother saw my concern; when she got control of her emotion she explained and called me her little angel (now that was a first and I think only time) My older sister Kathy drowned when she was seven, about my age, my mother had been missing her and wondering about her and her progression. I was smoother with kisses and was suddenly very hungry which mom was more than happy to remedy. Now I might have heard about my sister dying before that time but to my knowledge I hadn't and to find out that I had an older sister named Kathy in the way I did seem ok to me because I already knew she loved me had an amazing smile and maybe even a touch of my mischief disorder they way she entered the stream with a smile, laugh with her only care being me.

Gertrudism#3 " holding a grudge only effects you! the other person probably doesn't even know or care your mad at them"